January: Stress Reading

Lauren Hendershot (she/her), Reporter

Jumping back into school after a break can be stressful. A lot of us turn to stress eating, but have you tried stress reading? Instead of consuming salty chips and mac & cheese, you are consuming salty experiences and cheesy narratives. I have a few anonymous stories to share this month… 

 

  • One time my sister pooped in the Four Seasons hot tub in Hawaii, and they had to close the pool for five hours. 
  • Two weeks ago I tried to paint my dog’s nails. She flung the nail polish out of my hand and now our wall is stained pink. 
  • I pooped in the ocean. It floated up and scared me because I thought it was a fish. 
  • Do you remember the caramel that we used to get from McDonalds to dip our apples in? I thought it would be a good idea to spread it over my face and then stick my hair to it like I had a beard. I waited for twenty minutes in the sun for my mom to come back and see it. By then it had dried in a stiff chunk on my face and we had to change our plans to go get a haircut. 
  • I was skiing and I had to go to the bathroom really badly. When I got to the bathroom at the top of the slope my zipper got stuck and I peed my pants. Then I had to ski back down the hill with wet snow pants.

 

(Cartoon by Joey Hendershot)